Anonymous vs Open; Other known successful births; sibling ethics
babyKing
Posts: 11
I am starting this process and I have so many questions, but I will limit them as much as possible here. I would like to hear from you all about how critical anonymous vs open donors were to you. In an ideal world I would pick open because I would want that option for our child (knowing there are no guarantees to actually getting connected). But, I find anonymous donors that I really like. Should I really care THAT much? I have read lots of peoples take on this and I understand why people born of "anonymous" donors would tell me to select "Open" ones, but I still feel like it is such a big decision on such a gamble that they will actually connect.
Secondly, as I am reading this forum and the Facebook page, I am observing that some people are acutely aware of other pregnancies from certain donors, and it seems like they know of these other successes outside of this forum situation. I am a novice to this. How do people know this? They literally know people who used this donor? Sibling registries?
OK...one more question. As I read and read about sperm donor, I am all of a sudden thinking a lot about the ethics of this process. Bottom line - we want a baby. I feel like I am suppose to have all these ethical dilemmas with large banks (such as this one) that don't limit the number of conceptions from each donor (by the standards of the critics, example: only 10 children per donor). I like California Cryobank a lot in regard to the information given to us, their selection process, time tested experience, etc. I just want to hear from some of you who have had this experience and how you worked through issues like, "My child may have 40+ siblings out there." or "My child may meet Mr. Right and they could be related." I am not suggesting the there are not ethical considerations here at California Cryobank, but in general there are lots of critics of large banks in general. People are more likely to post negatives than positives, I know. I just like to process out loud and want to hear from people who have gone through this.
Thank you, CCB for making this discussion possible with this forum. I'm really impressed!
Secondly, as I am reading this forum and the Facebook page, I am observing that some people are acutely aware of other pregnancies from certain donors, and it seems like they know of these other successes outside of this forum situation. I am a novice to this. How do people know this? They literally know people who used this donor? Sibling registries?
OK...one more question. As I read and read about sperm donor, I am all of a sudden thinking a lot about the ethics of this process. Bottom line - we want a baby. I feel like I am suppose to have all these ethical dilemmas with large banks (such as this one) that don't limit the number of conceptions from each donor (by the standards of the critics, example: only 10 children per donor). I like California Cryobank a lot in regard to the information given to us, their selection process, time tested experience, etc. I just want to hear from some of you who have had this experience and how you worked through issues like, "My child may have 40+ siblings out there." or "My child may meet Mr. Right and they could be related." I am not suggesting the there are not ethical considerations here at California Cryobank, but in general there are lots of critics of large banks in general. People are more likely to post negatives than positives, I know. I just like to process out loud and want to hear from people who have gone through this.
Thank you, CCB for making this discussion possible with this forum. I'm really impressed!
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Comments
You can search the bulletin boards by the donor number and that is how people find out about other people using the same donor. Also on CCB facebook pages. Also by sibling registries.
I think the average is about 15-20 families that end up using a donor. And this is worldwide. I think it is minimal chances that there will be romances between donor sibs.