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Choosing a Sperm Bank and RE

lfrizzelllfrizzell Posts: 7
in Single Mothers by Choice
Hello!

I am happy to find a group of women with first-hand expertise about this process. I am embarking on the single mother by choice journey. I would love to hear your advice and stories.

I have my first consult with an advanced nurse practitioner who works in my hometown but is affiliated with a fertility clinic in a larger city a little over an hour away from me next week. I am 33 years old with no known fertility issues hoping to use I.U.I. What questions would you recommend that I ask before deciding to use this particular practitioner?

I am also shopping for a sperm bank (prior to shopping for a donor). Apparently I have high standards and have not found a bank that meets all of my preferences. The closest (I think) is Xytex in that they provide adult photos, an open donor program, as well as the highest sperm count guarantee. I also appreciate that I can access information for one fee. What were you looking for in a sperm bank? What has your experience been with those various banks?

Thanks, in advance, for some much needed advice and support! L.

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    TraceDTraceD Posts: 10
    Hello, lfrizzell! Congratulations on this important decision. Your post grabbed my attention, because I actually ended up going with Xytex. I don't know if this post will be removed for saying so. In any case, it was very important to me to be able to see the adult pictures. So many people sounded great on paper and maybe had adorable baby/childhood pictures, and then when I saw them as an adult, there was absolutely no way I would go with them. Once I had the ability to see adult pictures, the thought of choosing a donor without doing so was unimaginable. My doctor's office also recommended Xytex, and being in Florida,the proximity to Atlanta was a bonus (you never know what can happen with crazy, bad weather on a long transport.) Anyway, I became pregnant on my first IUI, and I am 40. I was also happy with the numbers---47 million.
    It is an important decision, so good luck!
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    lfrizzelllfrizzell Posts: 7
    I am so glad that you took the time to respond. While I have many supportive friends and family--even a few that have undergone IUI--I am the only choice mom that I actually know. Your story is encouraging and validating.
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    Jamwilson12Jamwilson12 Posts: 19
    Frizzell- My situation is so similar to yours. Im 30 years old, single and about to go through my journey alone. I am having such a hard time trying to choose a donor, its a big decision. Ive been searching since August 09. Keep us posted on your journey.
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    Laila Laila Posts: 1
    Dear Jamwilson12, Ifrizzell, and TraceD:

    Thanks for your posts. They were really helpful. I am 45 and have waited to absolute last moment to try IUI as I wanted to ensure to start my family in the traditional way. Now, after breaking up with my boyfriend of many years I realize that being a mom is so important to me that I am doing this alone, and while I live in a big city (NYC) and am a working professional it is hard decision to make ... which donor to go with.

    Thanks again for your honesty.

    Laila
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