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Sad - need support

misscherrybluemisscherryblue Posts: 31
in LGBTQ+ Couples
Hello everyone,

I just tried my first IUI after miscarrying in January. Previous to my miscarriage we had tried 3 ICIs at home, and then I got pregnant on my second IUI at the clinic. I just got AF yesterday and I am just so discouraged and sad. I know that many women have an even tougher journey - but right now I am just feeling emotionally and financially drained. I think having an unsuccessful IUI just brought up all the grief again from the miscarriage. It was probably too much to expect, but I've heard lots of stories about women getting pregnant right away after miscarriage and I was really hoping that would be me. I just want to be pregnant again and be able to put all that pain and disappointment behind me. I'd love to hear any words of support you've got :).

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    AlleyDuckAlleyDuck Posts: 52
    I did my first home ICI 2 weeks ago and then had AF yesterday (on my birthday) I was hoping I'd be one of those first timers, but no luck... So from the bottom of my heart I wish you all the luck in the world on your next try. Don't get discouraged. I keep thinking that if it doesn't take its because the perfect little bundle I'm dreaming of is in the next vial (silly I know). I will pray for you and really I will keep you in my heart sending all my positive thoughts your way. XOXOXOX
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    misscherrybluemisscherryblue Posts: 31
    Thank you so much for your prayers and support!! So sorry you had bad news on your birthday! Ever since I started this process AF has meant tears - I'm wondering when I'm ever going to look at my period as anything but a source of pain and misery! :) It can be so easy to feel alone in this process. It's also hard to get right back on the horse for the next cycle. I think my partner is wanting to take a break for emotional and financial reasons, but it's so hard for me to wait even one cycle when I want to be pregnant yesterday! At the same time I don't want to face the disappointment again. I'm have an appointment with my RE on Thursday to go over everything and probably prepare to try again with IUI this cycle. So we will see how that goes. I will also send you prayers and positive thoughts!! Hoping your next try is the lucky one!!
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    2beamom2beamom Posts: 108
    Miss cherry you are in my thoughts and prayers,I am sorry for your losses. I had my first IUI on March 2nd and was having lots of pregnancy symptoms, but AF came on the 13th. Remember that God will send you the right child that is meant for you in the right time and then all of this will be something you overcame to be his or her mommy. I too cried the day AF came, I am sending you lots of hugs and well wishes. May we all be mommies soon. :)
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    misscherrybluemisscherryblue Posts: 31
    Thank you 2beamom, I so appreciate your thoughts and prayers. I am so looking forward to the day when this all becomes just something we've overcome to become moms. I wish you success on your next try. Will you be trying again soon?
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    Sunshyne2010Sunshyne2010 Posts: 91
    Sorry to hear about your sad news. Its heart breaking I'm sure. I've always wanted a baby however it has never happened for me. I just turned 29 on March 12th and i made the decision a few months ago to try doing an IUI and see if it works. I guess I figured maybe this is the way God wants me to do it. It's hard for those of us that seek motherhood and never attain it while spending lots of money as well as time and energy. I will keep you closely in my prayers and I hope that next time is the time you've been waiting for. I'm scheduled for my IUI next week when my ovulation kit turns positive so I'm sure I won't like the dreadful wait either. Baby dust to you!!!
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    misscherrybluemisscherryblue Posts: 31
    Thank you Sunshyne2010. I really hope that IUI works for you & mommahood is just right around the corner. I just found out that my RE wants me to skip this cycle because my partner and I are going on vacation just after when I will probably ovulate and he doesn't want to take a chance with the timing. He wants me to increase my clomid dose next cycle and also start taking estrogen to thicken up my uterine lining (the clomid is thinning it out a little). I'm not thrilled about taking all of these medications when I don't have a fertility problem, but he says it will up my chances significantly so I'm going to trust him. I'm definitely envious of straight couples because it seems so easy - and so much cheaper for the them!! Although I know there are many who have fertility problems so it's not so easy for them. Oh well, I'm just trying to have faith and focus on the future. Thank you for the baby dust & I am sending some to you and all the women out there hoping to be mommas soon!!
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    Sunshyne2010Sunshyne2010 Posts: 91
    Hopefully the RE's suggestion of increasing the clomid is exactly what you need to give you the miracle you are patiently waiting for. If nothing else ENJOY your vacation, come back stronger then ever and ready for the next round. I agree straight couples defintely have it made. Could you imagine if this whole process was completely free?!!!It would be crazy!!!I for one would absolutely love it! Anyway, have fun on your vaca.
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    MistyandCarlaMistyandCarla Posts: 720
    Gitls...first off, hugs to all of you. My heart breaks when hearing your stories.

    Secondly, I want to share something with you that our OB told us...He said that yes, straight couples do have an advantage, but that he would rather see patients like us, who REALLY, REALLY want babies and will do whatever it takes to get them other than "accidently" becoming pregnant and not really have the desire to be a mommy.

    Hang in there ladies, may God grant you the babies you so desperatly long for.
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    misscherrybluemisscherryblue Posts: 31
    Sunshyne - thank you! I do hope the RE's suggestions are just what I need. I am so trying to just have faith. I'm going to try to really enjoy vacation and set this all aside for just a little while.
    MistyandCarla-Thank you for reminding me that being so intentional about having a baby is truly a special thing. I wouldn't trade my partner for anything anyway, so I'm going to try to stop being envious of straight people and their easy/accidental baby making :).
    The support from all of you ladies has meant so much to me! This has been such a rough time, and it really feels like no one understands except for all of you. Blessings to you all!
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    2beamom2beamom Posts: 108
    Hello again misscherry, I originally was planning on iui again in april, now I may wait til may or june.
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    Sunshyne2010Sunshyne2010 Posts: 91
    MissCherryBlue- Yes, keep the faith and I will keep you in my prayers. The bundle of joy you're waiting for is right around the corner!!!
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    misscherrybluemisscherryblue Posts: 31
    2beamom, I hope the wait is a good thing for you. I know that it's hard for me to skip a cycle but also a relief in some ways. Tons of baby dust for when you do try again!
    Thank you sunshyne :). I keep checking this board and it keeps helping. Take care!
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