Options

Select Ethnic Origin?

ZayandIZayandI Posts: 10
in Selecting a Sperm Donor
Hello I tried IUI’s with a donor three times and was out of ‘stuff’ and was going to order more. I a few men that I knew offered to ‘donate’ and ended up using someone from my church. I got pregnant (IUI) I even tried a relationship with him. I love my son but it did not work out with him and now I have some ties with him.
All I prayed for was one healthy child and God gave it to me. So now… my baby boy Izaha is now a year and I would love for him to have a sibling. I never thought that I would.. But being that I am 42 years old I do not expect to be in his life for ever, having a sibling and ‘family’ may be important to him. I never thought of that until after he was born and I started seeing him light up playing with other children and thinking more of the age difference.
My question is on race. I am white and Izaha is mixed with black. He is very light skin and his hair is tan with slight waves in it. A lot of people do not realize that he is mixed they just think he is tanned. Now on the other hand I look pasty white. Before when I picked on the donor it was 2457 who is Asian. I have now started looking again and I have a head ache and feel over whelmed. My first response was to have an AA donor. Thinking that it would be best for Izaha to look like his sibling but being that he is so light skinned that may be hard as the amount of" open" AA donors is so limited.
I fell in love with 2457 and was prepared to have him be my baby’s daddy ….should I try him again?? Or would that create more negative confusion for the children??

Comments

  • Options
    samsmomsamsmom Posts: 47
    I am AA and my donor is Albanian. There were/are not a lot of AA donors and I did not want to be limited to a few choices. I researched/am researching the Albanian culture and plan to teach the baby as much as I can about both our cultures.

    The children will have you as a Mom and in common. Some siblings with the same parents don't look alike. I am not sure what confusion they will have as I am sure you probably will tell them there come to be story.


    You probably would not have these thoughts if they were not donors. Love your kids and teach them well. Let ignorant people be ignorant alone. We have to make the best decisions possible with the information we have. I'm sure you'll make a good decision on your next donor!
  • Options
    ualtiggerualtigger Posts: 589
    I agree with samsmom. If you're worried that Izaha will not look like his sibling, choose a donor that has AA as a part of his heritage.

    I am AA plus Native and I chose a donor that is Caucasian based on the little ones currently in my family which my little ones will be with... since they will have me and their "dad" as both parents, they will fit in fine.
  • Options
    baileysmombaileysmom Posts: 6
    It is always hard trying to do what we think is best for our chidlren or our future children.

    Genetics is such a funny thing. Even though your son has a light complexion there is no guarantee that your next child would have his same skin tone. Please don't limit yourself based on "complexion".

    My daughter is biracial. She looks AA to me. Her hair is usually straight but depending what hair product I use it can become wavy or curly. She looks hispanic to my Mexican friends and white to others. I plan to use the same donor for her sibling but I know that the next kid could out looking completely different.

    I think when your son is older he will be happy just to have a brother or sister and care less about how similar the two of them are on the outside.
  • Options
    ZayandIZayandI Posts: 10
    Thanks for the answers I posted on another CC bord and got different answers.
    Baileysmom...may I ask who is your donnor?
    Still making up my mind:)
Sign In or Register to comment.