Our Baby Girl Arrived!
jjr3
Posts: 79
I just wanted to share with everyone how grateful my husband and I are to our donor and to CCB. I wanted to share our story for those of you going through something similar.
My husband and I have been married 12 years and came into the relationship each with a 3 year old from a previous marriage. We were young, in college and swore we did not want anymore kids so we opted for him to have a vasectomy and did not freeze any sperm. 4 years ago as we were embarking on our careers and re-evaluating our life we suddenly wanted more kids. We looked into vaso-reversal but my husband only had one vasdeferen to begin with so the chances it would work were bleak. We considered international adoption but the process was long and I wanted an infant. My husband suggested using a donor but I was dead set against it and that was the end of the conversation. I bought a puppy instead to help heal the hurt I was feeling as all my friends and relatives were having babies all around me. I tried to be thankful for the two wonderful boys I had.
This lasted for 3 years until once again we were faced with our boys being in high school and at some point in the near future leaving the nest. We are in our early 30's and just couldn't imagine an empty house. Baby talk started up again. We considered IVF with sperm aspiration but the cost was astronomical and there was no guarantee that the sperm retrieved would be viable. We started talking donors again. I was a bit weirded out by the idea of using sperm from a person I had never even seen or met. I was also worried that my husband would feel differently about the child. Resentful, distant and so fourth. However, it was our only chance and it was now or never because I had started to develop endometriosis which runs in my family.
We spent endless hours pouring over donor profiles before settling on 11385. He had qualities of both my husband and myself and looked like a composite of my husband and I as kids. We bought vials and then I started to waiver again. It took half a year for me to finally become okay with the prospect of using those vials. Finally in January of this year I decided to stop thinking and just do it. I made my IUI appointment, had the vials shipped and it worked on the first try! We were floored. It started as twins but we lost one in February. Our sweet little daughter was going strong however.
I had so many emotions during my pregnancy. We did not tell relatives we were using a donor. I kept having nightmares that the baby would be born and look completely different than I or my husband. I dreamed the vials got mixed up, I dreamed she had some crazy disfigurement. You name it, I worried about it. I tried to make out facial features from ultrasounds (and we all know how babies look in those!) I kept feeling a sense of worry and dread at times.
I made sure my husband was involved in every doctor's visit, every ultrasound, baby shopping and I let him be the final say in what we named her. This was important because I wanted him to feel the connection to her even though there would not be a genetic one.
Well, our little angel arrived a week ago. From the moment she was born every worry I had was whisked away. She is perfect and beautiful. My husband cried when they handed her to him and he has not put her down sense. He loves her so immensely and gets teary eyed when she looks up at him and coos. She is his in every sense of the word. He feels completely bonded to her.
I just wanted to share this for anyone else experiencing these crazy emotions or who have spouses that must come to terms with the decision. I am so glad we went through with it. My little sweetheart is laying here next to me as I type and I keep looking at how amazing she is. Regardless of the reasons donors donate we will be eternally grateful to our donor for giving us something we never would have had otherwise.
Good luck to everyone!
My husband and I have been married 12 years and came into the relationship each with a 3 year old from a previous marriage. We were young, in college and swore we did not want anymore kids so we opted for him to have a vasectomy and did not freeze any sperm. 4 years ago as we were embarking on our careers and re-evaluating our life we suddenly wanted more kids. We looked into vaso-reversal but my husband only had one vasdeferen to begin with so the chances it would work were bleak. We considered international adoption but the process was long and I wanted an infant. My husband suggested using a donor but I was dead set against it and that was the end of the conversation. I bought a puppy instead to help heal the hurt I was feeling as all my friends and relatives were having babies all around me. I tried to be thankful for the two wonderful boys I had.
This lasted for 3 years until once again we were faced with our boys being in high school and at some point in the near future leaving the nest. We are in our early 30's and just couldn't imagine an empty house. Baby talk started up again. We considered IVF with sperm aspiration but the cost was astronomical and there was no guarantee that the sperm retrieved would be viable. We started talking donors again. I was a bit weirded out by the idea of using sperm from a person I had never even seen or met. I was also worried that my husband would feel differently about the child. Resentful, distant and so fourth. However, it was our only chance and it was now or never because I had started to develop endometriosis which runs in my family.
We spent endless hours pouring over donor profiles before settling on 11385. He had qualities of both my husband and myself and looked like a composite of my husband and I as kids. We bought vials and then I started to waiver again. It took half a year for me to finally become okay with the prospect of using those vials. Finally in January of this year I decided to stop thinking and just do it. I made my IUI appointment, had the vials shipped and it worked on the first try! We were floored. It started as twins but we lost one in February. Our sweet little daughter was going strong however.
I had so many emotions during my pregnancy. We did not tell relatives we were using a donor. I kept having nightmares that the baby would be born and look completely different than I or my husband. I dreamed the vials got mixed up, I dreamed she had some crazy disfigurement. You name it, I worried about it. I tried to make out facial features from ultrasounds (and we all know how babies look in those!) I kept feeling a sense of worry and dread at times.
I made sure my husband was involved in every doctor's visit, every ultrasound, baby shopping and I let him be the final say in what we named her. This was important because I wanted him to feel the connection to her even though there would not be a genetic one.
Well, our little angel arrived a week ago. From the moment she was born every worry I had was whisked away. She is perfect and beautiful. My husband cried when they handed her to him and he has not put her down sense. He loves her so immensely and gets teary eyed when she looks up at him and coos. She is his in every sense of the word. He feels completely bonded to her.
I just wanted to share this for anyone else experiencing these crazy emotions or who have spouses that must come to terms with the decision. I am so glad we went through with it. My little sweetheart is laying here next to me as I type and I keep looking at how amazing she is. Regardless of the reasons donors donate we will be eternally grateful to our donor for giving us something we never would have had otherwise.
Good luck to everyone!
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Comments
Like you after serious serious consideration my hubby convinced me that this was the way to go. We just did our 1st IUI last week and I am pleading, praying, crossing my fingers, that like you I will be blessed the first time.
I am so excited for you and your family. It is very encouraging to hear families that are going through the same situation as us and have had a wonderful outcome.
Congrats and thanks for sharing
Anyway, thanks for posting.
tmb
tmb--congrats to yall as well ! Thats amazing on first try ! Im about to go thru my 2nd iui with clomid attempt.