At Home Inseminations?

wanttobemommieswanttobemommies Posts: 42
in LGBTQ+ Couples
Hi Ladies! Has anyone done an at home insemination with sperm from the sperm bank? If so, where did you rent a tank? How did you go about the process? Our doctor seems to be aggravated with us because we asked to do an at home insemination and has given us no guidance as far as what we should be doing leading up to the actual insemination (which we have a plan for already). Since they had us ship our samples to their lab already, they aren't coming from the cryobank... which leaves us without the tank to keep the samples from being ruined. We aren't quite sure what to do! Hoping for some help!

Thanks!

Comments

  • britoutofwaterbritoutofwater Posts: 2
    Honestly, the sperm is so expensive and everything so dependent on timing that it never occurred to me to do an at home insemination. We also did IUI, which gives better odds and I wouldn't want to risk that without a medical professional either.

    The actual IUI at my doctor's office cost very little in comparison to everything else, and I would imagine that renting a tank would completely negate that.

    Is there a reason you want to do it this way instead of just in the doctor's office?
  • RJBabyRJBaby Posts: 15
    Hi there,

    We just tried the at home method this month and currently I'm day 8 of my TWW. I don't know anything about renting a tank because we bought the sperm from here and it came with the tank but we did have to pay a tank fee! So maybe you can ask them if you could rent one of theirs.
    We did a ton of research on how to do it at home and I watched a lot of YouTube videos too! And we got a lot of tips from a friend who got pregnant with this method but she used fresh sperm from a friend instead. What's your plan so far? I could tell you what we did if you want.
    And btw we chose to try this method first because we felt like it was more intimate and my partner was able to be hands on and she can actually tell our baby she helped make him/her! Plus I'm 28 and don't know of any fertility issues so we wanted to give this a shot! But if it doesn't work after a few months then we'll do the iui at the doctors.
  • mrsnmrssmrsnmrss Posts: 13
    We had an at-home insemination and was successful on the second try. It is definitely possible to do it at home, but there is a lot of monitoring to be done. I'm just a bit confused about your sample- you had a known donor send it to the Cryobank for storage? If so, they would ship it to you in a cryotank. Either way, my wife has a 28 day cycle- we got the tank (which is good for one week from the day of shipping) and started OPK twice daily on cycle day 10. We had a positive opk on the morning of day 14 and inseminated that evening and the next morning of cycle day 15. We defrosted the vials as per the instructions shipped with the tank- in room temperature water (just a water bottle left in the cupboard) for 10 minutes. We put the specimen in a diva cup and my wife inserted it herself and kept it in for 12 hours (please familiarize yourself with the cup you will use before the big day- it wasn't an issue for us because we use it for our cycles). We used a little pre-seed to lubricate the inside of the cup and she put a little inside 10 minutes before insemination. We had a "special moment" and she lay with her hips elevated for 1 hour. We got a positive preg test 11 days after we inseminated. Also we both are in the medical field- and I was able to scan her ovaries myself everyday at work starting cycle day 10 to evaluate follicular growth- that being said- it's not necessary and it can be done without a medical provider. If you have any questions- feel free to email me at lez.b.mommies01@gmail.com
  • wanttobemommieswanttobemommies Posts: 42
    Thank you all for the feedback!

    What happened was, we were scheduled for an IUI at the Dr's office, but it got cancelled due to something that he saw that looked "funny" on the ultrasound before the insemination. Come to find out, it isn't a problem at all and we should have been inseminated that day. ANYWAY... we had the sample sent to the lab of the Dr's office, so now it's just sitting in their lab, where we can't touch it unless another Dr signs it out, or we rent a tank and figure it out ourselves or spend another 4100 dollars for another month at the fertility Dr's office. I don't think we can send it back to CCB because we've already sent it out. He's cancelled on us 3 months, so as highly recommended he is, I'm feeling a little taken advantage of, seeing as how I'm only 28 with no fertility problems at all.

    Our insurance isn't covering any of this for us, so it's really draining us financially having to be treated like an infertile couple... not infertile, just lesbians!
  • RJBabyRJBaby Posts: 15
    Hi ladies,

    So what did you decide to do? We'll be trying again this weekend for our 2nd try at an at home insemination. I think I've learned from my mistakes and this time it's really going to work! Fingers crossed :) I took some of your advice as well and will be taking my ovulation predictor tests starting CD10, warming and thawing the vials in room temp water this time, and we'll be using 3 vials instead of 2 this time in hopes to really get it this time and achieve that BFP!
  • mrsnmrssmrsnmrss Posts: 13
    I'm so sorry about your dilemma... I take it that your doctors office does not have loaner tanks. I really don't see a way out of your situation except to have your Dr. inseminate you for this cycle unless you can find a Cryobank that will lend you a tank. That's really shifty.

    RJbaby- good luck on this cycle.
  • bluelinemommabluelinemomma Posts: 16
    I'm sorry. That's a tough situation and is really shady of them. They shouldn't be able to hold your sample hostage until you're forced to do what they want you to do. Have you tried contacting CCB to see if they can send you a loaner tank? Or they might be able to help you get in touch with a facility near you that could.

    My wife and I did our first at home insemination last week and are now in our first TWW (day 7)!! We took bits and pieces of advice from people on the bulletin boards and from our own research and just trusted my wife to know what her body is doing. If it doesn't work this time we're going to tweak our plan and use the OPK and two vials instead of one. I think the most important thing is to try to enjoy the process together because it really is amazingly beautiful.

    Congratulations mrsnmrss!!! It's good to know that it's possible for at home insemination to work.

    Good luck RJbaby!! Lots of baby dust to you!

    I hope both of you keep us posted. It's nice to share this experience with others.:)
  • wanttobemommieswanttobemommies Posts: 42
    RJBaby, We haven't really made any decisions yet. At the moment, we are really just trying to devise a plan because we aren't really sure what to do! Good Luck on your cycle! I've been using the PTracker TTC version on my iphone, it has actually been really accurate. Also using the Clear Blue Advanced OPK with the smiley faces and I got a BBT thermometer to try as well. Best of Luck!

    MrsNMrs, It's super shifty and quite frustrating. Apparently CT has really weird laws against releasing samples to couples for at home inseminations. Well, that's what they are telling me anyway. The Dr's office won't do much of anything for us at this point. I think they feel like we are being unreasonable because I complained about the fortune we've spent and our 3 cancelled cycles (for no apparent reason). I'm pretty sure, they're just done with our asking questions. If I choose to have the Dr. inseminate this cycle, then we have to go for ultrasounds every like 3rd day, tons of blood work and since insurance isn't covering it, it's crazy expensive!

    BlueLineMomma, I haven't contacted CCB yet, but that sounds like a really good idea, maybe there's something they can do to help. I'm so excited for you all! My fingers are crossed for you! Best of Luck! :)
  • RJBabyRJBaby Posts: 15
    Hi girls,

    Thanks for all the baby dust positive vibes! We ordered 3 vials this cycle and have 2 left to insemenate these next few days. I felt like we really got the process down this time and it felt like it went more smoothly. The only thing I'm irritated by is my opk didgit clear blue smiley test things, I've been testing since cycle day 9 and I'm on cycle day 14 and I've never gotten a smiley face. I did have ewcm on Monday so we inseminsted that day because it's supposed to be fertile! I'm hoping listening to my body works better than these tests, because I'm scared these tests don't work on me at all.

    How are all of you doing?
  • mrsnmrssmrsnmrss Posts: 13
    Sorry RJ--- the OPKs are really the most anxiety-provoking part. There are always the constant questions- is it time yet, did I miss it, is it too early or too late???

    We used Wondfo OPKs from Amazon- I really liked the cheapies and they worked well. Also we didn't feel guilty about testing twice daily because they are so cost effective.

    It is positive when the test line is as dark as or darker than the control line. It sounds like it could be tricky, but it really is that simple.

    I purchased 50 OPKs (that came with 20 preg tests) for $21.99 from Amazon. I also saw an option of 20 OPKs for $12.99 (no preg tests.

    The preg tests were also good--- we got a positive (just a very faint, but visible line) using the cheapie Wondfo preg test 3 days before her period was due and it got darker as time went on.
  • mrsnmrssmrsnmrss Posts: 13
    We have our first prenatal appt with our midwife tomorrow- we are excited. I stopped scanning her 2 weeks ago - we are trying our best not to give into our anxiety and do ultrasounds every day.

    She will be 11 weeks this coming Saturday and are looking forward to hearing the heartbeat- We always saw it, but never heard it as it's theoretically not advisable before 9 weeks.

    I am doing research on co-lactation and induced lactation- we decided to both breastfeed- I am scheduling appointments with Lactation Consultants to discuss this option and the protocol to get me lactating. Any of you have experience with this or have any friends that have done it?

    Good luck and tons of sticky dust being sent your way!!!
  • wanttobemommieswanttobemommies Posts: 42
    @ RJbaby, I decided last cycle to test with opk's from the day my period ended until I got a positive test, it took a couple of days longer than my Ptracker originally predicted, but it was definitely super positive with the smiley tests as well as the cheapies from amazon!

    @ MrsnMrs, So exciting!!! I've never heard of co-lactation, that sounds awesome! What a great way to set up a bond with the baby!

    We're hoping for an insemination Easter weekend, waiting to hear back from or RE.

    Sending out positive vibes and baby dust!
  • RJBabyRJBaby Posts: 15
    Hi ladies,

    Omg we were just talking about that and hoping my fiancé would start lactating when I did and that she'd probably get sympathy pains too :) I didn't know there was an actual process to help aid the production of milk in her! Please keep me informed, I'd love to hear all about it! Yay I'm so happy for you guys being 11 weeks and getting to hear the heartbeat!!!! So precious :) I can't wait to be in your shoes too.

    As for the cheap opk's, I bought some cheap ones off of amazon for last months cycle and same thing- they never worked... So I'm guessing they don't work on me at all and maybe my LH surge is too weak. I drink a lot of water but I really tried to limit my liquid intake and not pee for 4 hours before testing and still both cheap and digital clear blue won't work. So whatever- I'm trying not to care about them anymore. But I am curious- so I'm going to keep taking them even though we used our last baby making vial tonight.

    I really hope this is the cycle! Blue line momma- any good news?!? PS- did all of you use instead cups? I'm so surprised that these things don't hurt and I can't feel them!
  • bluelinemommabluelinemomma Posts: 16
    Well it was a BFN for us this round and I'm pretty bummed out about it. The whole two weeks I really felt like we were gonna get that positive. Ugh! But the only way to move is forward, so I'm going to keep being positive.

    We're going to try using the clear blue OPK this time along with the cheapies and use two vials instead of just one to increase our chances of getting the timing right. I think we'll be more relaxed this time too which should help.

    Good luck on your TWW RJ!! Much baby dust to you! From reading other posts on here and other stuff on the internet (so it must be true haha!) it seems like there's not always an LH surge with every cycle. I don't know, but that could be why it didn't register. My wife didn't get one last time either so we just went with her tracker app and when she felt the time was right.

    Mommies I'm so glad things will be moving forward for you guys!! Our next insemination will be the week after Easter so hopefully we will all get positives BAM! BAM! BAM! in March and we can have a pregnancy thread.

    Mrs it's so exciting that y'all will get to hear your baby's heartbeat!! I bet that'll be the sweetest sound in the world! I'm interested to hear more about the co-lactation process. I'm keeping my fingers crossed that I won't get sympathy pregnant with my wife because otherwise I won't fit my uniforms! Haha!

    I just realized how long this message is... Sorry. :) Good luck and baby dust to y'all!!
  • RJBabyRJBaby Posts: 15
    Lol I hope my fiancé will be able to deal with me and my mood swings and cravings that I'm sure I'll have! But honestly I can't wait for her turn to get pregnant and watch her cute little stomach grow and her hips to get a little meat on them! But she wants to wait a few more years for her turn. Otherwise I'd say lets both try at the same time and be those crazy stories of both being pregnant together!

    I'm sorry about your bfn but don't worry these weeks will go by quickly and it will be time to inseminate again in no time! We only bought 2 vials the first time, and this time we maxed out our credit card and bought 3. When we did the 2nd one last cycle I felt like we were both more calm and had a better sense of how to do it. The first time we didn't put the instead cup in right, and the second it actually clicked into place. Where do you guys live? We're from Long Beach, California. I'm so happy we've built this community board where we can talk to each other :) it definitely helps the time pass and eases some of my worries.
  • mrsnmrssmrsnmrss Posts: 13
    Bluelinemomma- sorry to hear about the BFN. But RJ is right... the 2 weeks go by so fast that your next focus will be this next insemination which will be your lucky one.

    RJ- good luck on your TWW.

    Wanttobemommies- Easter that's awesome... good luck!!!!

    We had our first prenatal visit with our Midwife who was AMAZING. We got to hear little beans HR for the first time. It was so precious. The MW was so supportive and excited about our co-lactation venture and is willing to help us in any way she can. I had a big sigh of relief at her excitement.

    There are several ways to induce lactation- I got a book called "Breastfeeding Without Birthing" by Schnell and it's pretty informative and an easy/enjoyable read. Also did a lot of research and I opted for the Newman-Goldfarb protocol to medically induce lactation. There are also options for non-medical induction. It's not uncommon and more commonly used by adoptive mothers or those who used surrogates.

    If you guys are interested, I could keep you informed about how it's going. I haven't started the meds yet, but hopefully will be shortly.

    Good luck to everyone.
  • mrsnmrssmrsnmrss Posts: 13
    RJ- we are in NYC-

    I'm also grateful for this board. Ladies here were a great support to me when I was trying over a year ago and had a miscarriage, the unexpected death of my sister, and hardships at work all at the same time.

    I took some time off and we decided that my wife would go first while I dealt with all of the healing from last year's events.

    So needless to say, this is the best thing to happen ever, but also the first happy moments I have had in a while.
  • bluelinemommabluelinemomma Posts: 16
    So, this has been a big weekend for us. To make a long story short: one no show AF and 8 pregnancy tests later we have a BFP!!! (8 to be exact) My guess is we tested too early and the HCG level was too low to register. It's still hard to wrap my mind around the fact that this is real. There's a little peanut in there growing bigger everyday. I've hardly slept all weekend because I'm terrified it's all just a dream and I'm too excited/nervous to sleep. I've just been walking around with a big stupid grin on my face. I know it's still early and a lot can happen, but I can't help it.

    Our first appt. with our midwife is scheduled for April 12th and I can hardly wait. (I'm not so good with the waiting part if y'all couldn't tell)

    I'll have to see if my local library has that book by Schnell. I love a good book and I'd like to learn more on induced lactation. I wonder if there are longitudinal studies that monitor any health benefits of breastfeeding by a non-biological mother?

    We're from the big city of Conway, Arkansas. :)

    Which is why this board is so nice. I don't know anyone else that has gone through our process and while everyone is supportive they don't really understand it. And despite my lengthy posts, I'm not really a share-er so it's nice to be able to talk on here.

    My name's Karen, btw. It's nice to share this amazing journey with you fine ladies.

    P.S. My wife is currently snoring loudly on the couch next to me. :)
  • wanttobemommieswanttobemommies Posts: 42
    Congratulations!!! We are currently in our TWW, testing the first week in April!
    Very exciting news!
  • bluelinemommabluelinemomma Posts: 16
    Hey guys!! How is everyone doing?

    Mommies how is the TWW going? Should be almost over soon! Good luck and baby dust to you.

    Mrs. how is the induced lactation going? I hope that you, your wife, and little bean are doing well.

    Rj any news on your end? I'm hoping it's good news. Much baby dust to you.

    Nothing new on our end which I figure is a good thing. Sort of a no news is good news situation. Lots of mood swings and exhaustion on my wife's side and worrying on my end.

    I hope all of y'all are doing well!!
  • wanttobemommieswanttobemommies Posts: 42
    Hey Momma,

    I'm not really sure if I'm just having implantation bleeding or it's the beginning of my period, unfortunately, I think it's good old AF...

    I kind of expected it in the back of my mind, since it was our first IUI, so while it's a little disappointing, I just kind of, figured.
  • bluelinemommabluelinemomma Posts: 16
    Oh Mommies, I'm so sorry. Even if it's what you expected it's still tough. It's hard to want something so badly and with so much of yourself and have so little control over the outcome. I'm sending comforting vibes and positive thoughts y'all's way.

    Hopefully the days between AF and your next try will fly by quickly. Before you know it you'll be back in the agonizingly beautiful TWW.

    Do you think you guys will try IUI again? What was the process like? (If these are too personal feel free to disregard.)

    I never even researched IUI because my wife was adamant about wanting to do it at home.

    Good thoughts to all of you,

    Karen
  • wanttobemommieswanttobemommies Posts: 42
    We are asking the RE that we have been using if we can have the same option of tracking my ovulation with OPK tests and body temp at home and just letting them know when we get that positive result. From there we scheduled the IUI. I got the positive OPK Tuesday when I got home from work, spoke to my nurse Wednesday morning and had the IUI done at 8 on Thursday. It was very short and impersonal, we got there at 730, our appointment was at 8, we saw the dr until 804 and were allowed to leave by 820 and I was back at work by 9.

    Prior to this cycle, they had done months of monitoring and bloodwork and transvaginal ultrasounds 3 times during my cycle and we were paying out of pocket for all of it. I'm 28, have no health issues and my cycle has been exactly the same since I got my period at age 12. I felt it was very unnecessary, so we spoke to our RE and he let us try it the way I spoke above. They really weren't too keen on letting us try at home or releasing samples to us to do so. We only have one vial of this donors sample left, so I'm not sure what we will do after this cycle.

    The IUI itself was fine. No worse than a pap smear (I did however make sure my bladder was full, I heard it helps flatten out the uterus for a more "straight-shot"). But, it was literally like 4 minutes all together and then the 5 minute wait before I could stand up. I had mild cramping that day at work, but other than that it was fine.
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