introduction and questions
hummingbird76
Posts: 3
Hello! I've been lurking here for a bit, but haven't posted anything. I thought it was time to introduce myself, and hopefully get answers to a few questions at the same time. :-)
I'm 34, single, and hoping to start trying in the next six months (possibly as soon as three months from now). I've always wanted to have children. When I graduated from law school at 30, after a string of relationships that were not marriage-and-daddy material, I promised myself that I would get my career started, and that if I was not in a serious relationship by the time I turned 32, I would sit myself down to have a serious consideration of my options. Well, at 32 I was still single, so I took the next year to really think about whether I was ok with DI, whether a known or unknown donor would be better, etc. At the end of the year, I had decided that I was comfortable with DI, that an unknown donor would be best, and that I didn't want to wait forever. I also decided that while I hadn't given up on love, I wasn't sure I would find it in a biologically appropriate timeframe, and that while I had had plenty of both fulfilling and not so fulfilling romantic relationships, I had never been a mother... and that I would always regret it if I didn't have that experience. However, around that time, I was changing jobs, so the timing wasn't right. Now I'm financially stable, so I'm ready to start the countdown to making this happen. One reason I've been waiting is that I've had some health issues; nothing too serious, but they needed to be resolved. (I had surgery to remove ovarian polyps last year; my gyn says everything looks fine, now, and there are no other issues that she has found that she should affect my fertility, but I've been waiting for my cycles to get back on track, and to get in better shape before trying.)
So, my first question is, did anyone start trying without seeing a fertility specialist first? I've talked it over with my gyn, and she says that she can refer me to a specialist if I want, but that at my age and without any discernible fertility issues at this point, she doesn't see any harm in trying a few cycles of ICI at home if I want. It would certainly be less expensive, and while my financial situation is solid, I still can't afford to not be careful about how I spend my money. Has anyone else tried (or do you have plans to try) to start this way? If so, I have follow-up questions, but for now, I just want to know if anyone else is in the same boat?
Thanks! :-)
I'm 34, single, and hoping to start trying in the next six months (possibly as soon as three months from now). I've always wanted to have children. When I graduated from law school at 30, after a string of relationships that were not marriage-and-daddy material, I promised myself that I would get my career started, and that if I was not in a serious relationship by the time I turned 32, I would sit myself down to have a serious consideration of my options. Well, at 32 I was still single, so I took the next year to really think about whether I was ok with DI, whether a known or unknown donor would be better, etc. At the end of the year, I had decided that I was comfortable with DI, that an unknown donor would be best, and that I didn't want to wait forever. I also decided that while I hadn't given up on love, I wasn't sure I would find it in a biologically appropriate timeframe, and that while I had had plenty of both fulfilling and not so fulfilling romantic relationships, I had never been a mother... and that I would always regret it if I didn't have that experience. However, around that time, I was changing jobs, so the timing wasn't right. Now I'm financially stable, so I'm ready to start the countdown to making this happen. One reason I've been waiting is that I've had some health issues; nothing too serious, but they needed to be resolved. (I had surgery to remove ovarian polyps last year; my gyn says everything looks fine, now, and there are no other issues that she has found that she should affect my fertility, but I've been waiting for my cycles to get back on track, and to get in better shape before trying.)
So, my first question is, did anyone start trying without seeing a fertility specialist first? I've talked it over with my gyn, and she says that she can refer me to a specialist if I want, but that at my age and without any discernible fertility issues at this point, she doesn't see any harm in trying a few cycles of ICI at home if I want. It would certainly be less expensive, and while my financial situation is solid, I still can't afford to not be careful about how I spend my money. Has anyone else tried (or do you have plans to try) to start this way? If so, I have follow-up questions, but for now, I just want to know if anyone else is in the same boat?
Thanks! :-)
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Comments
yes i did start w/o seeing a fertility specialist. i never anticipated this journey. as of today, i have had 4 unsuccessful, unmedicated IUIs. i never talked w/my gyn about conceiving (knowing this was probably to be my only option) b/c i didn't like him and knew i was going to get a new dr. i did- twice- and never felt comfortable with any of them. i always just had my yearly exam and left- never shared much of anything with them. even now, i have a dr listed on my chart when i go in for the IUI but never have seen nor spoken to him. i think that comes when you need it- to diagnose any potential problems or up the anty to become more aggresive. i am 39 years old. i regret not doing this sooner- absolutely! i have had a few relationships- knowing he wasn't going to be the one so becoming pregnant never crossed my mind. i have never tried to get pregnant. now i am and am having difficulty. i have had all the "beginning" tests done (ones to check of the list before looking for other possible issues that could be more serious in interferring with conception) and all my #s have been off the charts in a positive way. the nurses tell me my body is more than ready and healthy for a baby yet it hasn't happened yet. i am a teacher so my funds are quite limited. at my last visit i kind of took matters into my own hands and asked what to do to up my chances thinking i have a few more cycles (financially) left to try. no answer. i decided to have my tubes checked and actually go in this thursday for a HSG (xray dye test). i should then be close to my ovulation so i'm hoping that will clear me out :) and make it happen this time. i bought one more vial so if need to i would do 6 and then some serious reconsideration and praying b/c then they suggest IVF and i CANNOT afford that at all. i guess i could keep doing IUIs. it seems like it all is a timing game. so if i have to keep going that is my next step in the game plan- how to pinpoint my ovulation more precisely to make that connection of sperm and egg. hope that helps. good luck!
Teachertracys, you mentioned that you haven't talked to your gyn about TTC, and that you didn't start off seeing a fertility specialist. Are you seeing one now? If so, how long did you try before seeing one? If not, if you don't mind me asking, who is doing the IUIs? Don't mean to be nosy, I am just still trying to sort out all of the options.
I'm supposed to see my gyn tomorrow, so I'm hoping she will sign my form and give me the go-ahead to start trying in the next few months.
you are not being nosy- all the info helps through this process. no, i am not seeing one. the nurse specialists are doing the IUI at the clinic. i went last week for the HSG and it was all good- which is great news but wondering why it's taking so long. i am trying to be patient. i probably won't see a specialist. i plan on doing 2 more IUIs and then the protocol for the clinic is to think about IVF (which then i would have to see a specialist). that's where it will stop for me- simply b.c of financial reasons (since i don't have medical reasons- fertiltiy issues- none of this would be covered on my insurance). i guess i could keep doing the IUIs. at this point i'm thinking it really is a timing game. hope that helps and good luck.