new and overwhelmed

jennyjellybeanjennyjellybean Posts: 3
in Single Mothers by Choice
Hi there ladies. I'm still in the planning stage. Trying to get finances and health straightened out so I can start TTC. I'm hoping to be able to start TTC within the next year (by this time next year). But I've started looking at donors just to get an idea. Is/was anybody else totally overwhelmed with this stage? Choosing a donor just seems surreal to me. Right now all I've done with it is do a search based on one of my top criteria - height - and then look at the medical profiles of the donors that fit that criteria and were the same race as me. I've found the medical profile to be really helpful in narrowing down. Anybody with anything "scary" was instantly rejected. Which narrowed it down to 21 white guys over 6 feet tall who don't have anything that really jumps out at me as being a really bad idea given my own family history in the medical history. And I've now hit the "now what?" stage on that. If you don't mind my asking, how did you choose? What were your "must-have" criteria? And how did you narrow it down from whatever your original list was to one guy that you wanted as your donor? And how soon before you were ready to TTC did you start looking/finally choose? My only "must-have" criteria was that he be at least 6 feet tall (I'm only 5'3" so I'm hoping he'll counteract my genes and my kid will at least be average) and that he be white, more so I don't have to worry about my child being identified as being part of a culture that I - and therefore the child - know very little about, than anything else.

Sorry for being so long and rambly. I'm just so overwhelmed with all of this.

Comments

  • VVNJMOMVVNJMOM Posts: 45
    Hi Jenny:
    I felt very much the same when I started going thru the profiles. What helped me out tremendously was the audio interviews & staff impressions. I know they are a little costly but they are well worth it. I thought I had found the perfect donor but then I heard his interview and it totally turned me off. I was so glad I had purchased the interview. After that, I was able to narrow it down to a couple, I then called CCB and talked to one of the customer service reps. He helped me out so much by giving me a little more detail about each donors appearance and such. I described to him what I was looking for and he gave me his recommendation. Don't be afraid to call them. They are extremely helpful and very nice.
  • nbound72nbound72 Posts: 153
    Hi Jenny - I just had my first IUI and was also very overwhelmed when I first started. It reminds me of some of the dating sites I used to be on except not seeing their picture. What helped me were the following: the medical checklist from the fertility doctor. They check CMV and that narrows it down, certain blood types are not a good match, I only wanted an open donor, donor medical info., staff impressions and the baby picture. Once I narrowed it down to my top 3 I ordered all the packages. Then I narrowed to 2. I called Cryobank and they sometimes can add a little insight on the donors. It depends on who answers. Might be helpful to ask for a supervisor. I did that only when I was between 2. Hope that helps. These discussion boards are a wealth of knowledge.
  • audriannahooveraudriannahoover Posts: 17
    Jenny,

    When I looked at the donors and got them all narrowed down, I had ten to choose from. Finally, I just did "Eenie, Meenie, Minie, Mo" LOL Seriously, that is what I did because they were all what I was looking for, so I didn't know what to do.

    As for being a bit overwhelmed, I'm with you. I'm getting ready to start my cycle in the next few days and then I'll be trying for the first time. Nervewracking, but end results are going to be amazing. :)

    AH
  • tnctnc Posts: 85
    I completely understand being new and overwhelmed. I go the doctor on Monday to talk to her about getting started. Iam hoping to begin IUI in August, but not sure will need to have the doctor's advice.

    I am choosing based on medical history, eye color, staff impressions, and baby photo. I still have several still on my list to sort through.

    Good luck with this process. We are all with you.
  • Ms M404Ms M404 Posts: 111
    AH and Tnc !!! Are you doing natural cycles or medicated?

    When I picked my donor I looked at health, height, and his short essay. But I knew I wanted someone that was the yin to my yan. So he is kinda my opposite. But in lots of ways still a guy that I would date, or may have already LOL.

    Jenny I read that women either pick donors that have the same traits as them. Or they pic there opposites to help balance out the child. Plus I think when you find your donor you just know it.

    BABY dust !!!

    M
  • sandmjsandmj Posts: 18
    I'm doing a medicated cycle first insemination will be Aug 5, and 6. When I picked my donor it was like I just knew I kept coming back to him. I ordered info on maybe 3 in total but this one just felt right to me. I picked 3 in total but know I chose the right one.
  • sandmjsandmj Posts: 18
    and oh yeah my criteria in order was open donor, height, medical history, race, his essay, and cute baby pic. I looked at him for 6 months before I got serious enough to buy, I know its the right thing for me. Wish you all luck
  • tnctnc Posts: 85
    Still staring at the three baby pictures and going through the searches. I have it narrowed down to three, but still am not sure. I keep reading and rereading all the information. I am looking for someone who compliments my personality both with differences and similarities. I wish I had people to talk to about my choices. Good luck in your search.

    Ms M404- I think I will be medicated due to the irregular cycles. Went to my ob/gyn who originally said she could help, but sent me to a fertility clinic today. I have an appointment Aug 2. Are you trying to figure out which way to go? How far along in this process are you?

    To sandmj: good luck on August 5 and 6.
    Lots of baby dust to all of you.
  • Ms M404Ms M404 Posts: 111
    Hey Tnc - I am currently in my TWW (7dpIUI). This is my second unmedicated. I was asking cause I am tryin to figure out how many women are doing medicated vs unmedicated and get a BFP :) Best of luck to you on Aug 2!!

    Sand - Best of luck on Aug 5. If I dont get a BFP with this IUI my next should be around the same time.

    Baby dust to all.
    M
  • sandmjsandmj Posts: 18
    thank you all. and Ms M404 Good Luck keep us posted
  • smiliesmilie Posts: 57
    Ms M404 - I'm interested in finding out the same thing (medicated vs. unmedicated IUIs). Have you gotten any responses? If not, maybe we should open up a topic regarding it.
  • Ms M404Ms M404 Posts: 111
    Hey Smilie,
    Noone has responded a new topic with that question maybe a good idea.

    M
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