Trying for our firdt baby.. what do we do! ahhh!

melnerinmelnerin Posts: 47
in LGBTQ+ Couples
Hi All,
My partner and I are trying via IUI next month. We haven't been tracking as best we should but have a amazing Fertility Dr. We are hoping to inseminate Feb 22nd and need to purchase the donor we choose. We are contemplating buying 5. Anything to help fertility, anything my partner can do to help me, etc? I am 35 and the Dr. is contemplating fertility drugs. We are so excited and nervous. We both cried and got chills reading everyone's stories. So great to see this support group!

Erin and Melissa

Comments

  • Wally030306Wally030306 Posts: 156
    Erin and Melissa,

    Congrats on beginning the journey! My partner Rachel and I too will be undergoing our first IUI around the 26th of February! It has been a long time in the making for us! :) I am 29 and after undergoing all of the testing our Dr. too was contemplating fertility drugs. After some thought, we decided to use Clomid and an Ovidrel trigger shot...the doctor suggested this is our best option at conceiving and sustaining a pregnancy :) Hoping it works! BEST OF LUCK TO YOU AND YOUR PARTNER....and LOTS OF BABY DUST!!! So excited to hear updates on your story...

    Courtney :)
  • Wally030306Wally030306 Posts: 156
    Erin and Melissa,

    Forgot to mention, for our February cycle we are doing 2 back to back IUI's (one day apart)...we decided to only purchase the vials for the February IUI cycle at this time. My fertility doctor mentioned that eating pineapple (within reason LOL)has been proven to help fertility :) So I figured why not try, after all pineapple is tasty. Hopefully some of this helps you! Again BEST OF LUCK AND LOTS OF BABY DUST!!!

    Courtney :)
  • am.brkam.brk Posts: 17
    Thought I would weigh in here since we found ourselves in the same position a few months ago and had no idea what we should be doing! [This message ended up being really long - sorry for the TMI]

    @melnerin - I wouldn't worry too much about tracking.. I was doing it, but your Dr. will probably be ultrasounding to check for the right time, so those home kits don't end up mattering all that much. IUIs are really specifically timed and triggering with a shot before you do it is pretty common too, though it depends on your Dr.

    I think the main thing in this whole process is just embracing the unknown! Some people get pregnant right away and for some it takes multiple tries and some end up moving to IVF. You can do a little to try to help, but working with a good dr. that you trust will increase your chances more than anything. And then it's just kind of luck. In general it's a real go with the flow kind of thing (which can be hard to remember when it's so high stakes, and expensive, as it is for us on this board).

    We did our first IUI in November and leading up to it I cut out caffeine and alcohol pretty completely. I was a big coffee drinker so went down to half-caf an then totally off of it. I also went to the Dr. a lot - probably leading up to IUI I was in there like 3x/week.. and once I was there twice in a day. If you're seeing a fertility specialist they may have already had you get an HSG where they flush your tubes out and make sure they're clear. That's the kind of thing it's good to know about because a blockage can really reduce your chances of conceiving. If they haven't done it already and you have trouble getting pregnant, they may do it later.

    We had our specimen delivered to our Dr.'s office from CCB - you'll want to do that ahead of time to make sure that it's there waiting for you (sometimes you have to IUI on a weekend, and delivery is limited.. so it's good to think about that beforehand). You'll also want to know the donor # by heart since you'll get asked about it a bunch. We bought five vials before our first try knowing that the average is somewhere between 3-4 tries and we wanted to take advantage of CCB's free storage. We had 2 delivered to our Dr. and kept the rest at CCB for later.

    I had some medical things that could have posed an issue, but my wife and I decided just to go ahead and try once or twice before addressing those more specifically. The Dr. asked if we wanted to do fertility meds and we decided not to for the first, but that we would use them on the second try. I wanted to try the experience once to know what I was getting into beforehand.. but they definitely increase your chances. I did get a trigger shot my first time (they do that for everyone at my Dr.'s office).

    Anywho, then came the big day. I couldn't sleep at all the night before because I was nervous, and because the trigger shot gave me hardcore cramps.. that doesn't seem to happen to most people so I wouldn't worry about it. By the time we got to the Drs office I was so nervous that I actually had to take part of a muscle relaxer (Doc had approved it ahead of time).. basically I was a disaster. Once we were in the room though, and they got the specimen from storage, the whole thing took like 10 seconds! I couldn't believe how fast it was.

    When we were done we went home and hung out. We both took the day off, which isn't necessary - plenty of people go right to work. We just tried to make it a really nice day so regardless of what happened we would have that nice memory of the experience. We watched movies and took it easy. The next day (I believe.. may have been the third) I started the pineapple thing. It's a pretty specific process where you eat only part of the core (not the fruit) for five days - you can look it up online. I think it's mostly a wive's tale, but hey - I needed to do something. I also did a warm foot bath every night for 20 minutes for those 5 days. I read about that somewhere and again, I doubt it did anything, but it helped me just chill a little bit at least (it's supposed to help with implantation).

    So that's really it. The 2ww took forever and if you do a trigger shot, you really should wait the full time to test - I couldn't help myself so I tested at home toward the end, but the results are not dependable. On day 14 we went into the Dr's office and did a blood draw and later in the day we called in and got our BFP. To say that we were surprised is an understatement. I actually had my wife call back and make sure that they hadn't gotten my name mixed up with someone else's. I didn't feel totally in the clear after getting it because so many things can happen in the beginning, from chemical pg to ectopic, etc.. in fact it's barely starting to feel really real now. Just today we had our 12 week checkup and saw the little guy hanging out.

    So that's my story. Basically there are things you can do to make yourself feel more useful in the process, but it really comes down to luck and timing. During the 2ww I spent a lot of time becoming ok with getting a BFN. I just lived in that mindset since that what was more likely to happen.. the positive was a real shock, and if things continue as they are, we'll have a kid this summer. Crazy.
  • melnerinmelnerin Posts: 47
    Wow. Thank @wally and @am.brk for the positive vibes and sharing. Am.brk your story is amazing and the more I read stories about couples who are trying the first time and conceive is amazing. We are hoping that is us! We are working with the Chief of Fertility at a local Hospital and hope that his experience and guidance really helps.

    We were going to try in March, but my Wife and I are both impatient when it comes to this so we said, hell, let's do it. What would be even more amazing is if we did conceive, it would be very close to or on our wedding anniversary. Funny how things work out like that.

    Hopefully I will have a update late Feb early March with happy results. We too have thought of purchasing 5 vials, and saving any left overs for me, as I will try in a year. helps with shipping cost too!

    Good luck to everyone. I love that there I a same sex couple group on here. So many times you read things like "have sex and you will get preg" or "your husband" and it I just so hard to visualize how it works for the "rest of us" :)
  • melnerinmelnerin Posts: 47
    Oh and BTW Wally. My birthday is Feb 26th, so sending you all the happiness and birthday good juju. Hoping us both good luck and pregnancies on my birthday!
  • Wally030306Wally030306 Posts: 156
    Mel and Erin...Happy early birthday and anniversary as well! I look forward to hearing your updates...wishing you two a BFP soon :)
  • Wally030306Wally030306 Posts: 156
    Started Clomid yesterday! Second ultrasound Monday....insemination possibly Tuesday and Wednesday!! Baby dust ladies!!
  • melnerinmelnerin Posts: 47
    we thought we were going to have inseminated by now, but seems like the eggs are just not ready. We started clomid day 5 of her cycle and took 50mg for 5 days, and thought Monday we would have inseminated. We had a ultrasound Monday and her she had an egg at 12 and 14. So ready to get this going... We are both ready!
  • Wally030306Wally030306 Posts: 156
    I know the waiting is soooo hard...but good things come to those who wait! :) It will come! Our Dr. put us on 100mg of Clomid and I too started on cycle day 5. I have my second ultrasound on Monday; and the Dr. is hoping for 20mm follicles! Stay positive and strong! I have my fingers and toes crossed for you ladies! **BABY DUST** Keep us updated :)
  • melnerinmelnerin Posts: 47
    hey Wally,
    We went in today and we have 1 follicle at 18, so if my wife ovulates naturally tomorrow we will inseminate Friday or we will do the shot tomorrow night and inseminate Saturday. we are so excited and want to get through this next few weeks with positive results. Good luck and cant wait to hear your update
  • melnerinmelnerin Posts: 47
    We inseminate tomorrow am! So excited and eager. hopeful for a positive in 2 weeks, which would be my wife's late mothers birthday.
  • Wally030306Wally030306 Posts: 156
    Mel and Erin....sending baby dust your way! Fingers and toes crossed for a BFP in two weeks...how very sweet that day already holds special meaning for you both.
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