help, I'm having a hard time picking between two donors. 14288 and 14426
dolphin84041
Posts: 63
I am single and doing all this on my own. I will be 41 a week from sunday. I have been debating about doing this for almost 6 years now. I figured i would have had kids by now. I was hoping to have one with my now ex boyfriend, but it never happened. Now i know i can't putting off and waiting for mister right to come along. I'm scared in some ways to do this on kids own.
I had the photo comparison done. What helped you decide between which donor to go with?
I had the photo comparison done. What helped you decide between which donor to go with?
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Anyway, for me, one of the first things I used to narrow things down was that I knew I wanted an open donor. I just liked the idea that he'd already decided he would make contact at least once and because I'm single, I wanted to give my child that chance, and for them to know that I thought about the future and tried my best. I know some people feel the opposite about their child ever meeting the donor and I get that so I'm just throwing in my two cents.
After that, the most important thing to me was health history. I wanted someone who didn't have a lot of chronic illness, mental illness (including addiction) or cancer in their family. I felt a slightly older donor gave a better indication of future health too, since a lot of things, like mental illness don't start until the mid twenties.
Finally after looking at all the rest of the info, it was the audio interviews that I found the most helpful. If you haven't listened to them, I highly recommend them. It made all the difference with some donors I thought I liked. I feel like it gives the best sense of who they are. And personality was important to me since I do think some of it is inherited.
I just want to add, I agonized about my choice, really worried about who to pick, but now that my baby is here, I don't really think about it much at all. This baby is mine, and whatever traits he does or doesn't get from the donor don't really matter. So whoever you pick, I think you'll be happy with the outcome. Go with your gut!
You gave me some info i didn't even think about.
I understand the open part, because i have sister that was put up for adoption when she was a baby. We found her almost 14 years. It would be nice to know, at least once my kid could meet their dad once.
I go on Tuesday to discuss things further with my dr and hope to give it a try around the 10th of Jan.