just starting the process and very nervous

HLBoulay11HLBoulay11 Posts: 3
in LGBTQ+ Couples
My fiancee and I have just started this process in the past few months. We met with our fertility doctor and had bloodwork and the HSG test done. They said everything came back normal and we can go ahead and start looking for a donor.

I'm so nervous! When I met with the Nurse Practitioner to go over both our histories to determine which one of us would carry she made me feel like I had a reason to be nervous. I have had two miscarriages previously and her words were "its not normal for someone in their 20's to not have a successful pregnancy at this point". I was completely devastated.

I was just wondering if there is anyone out there who has had multiple miscarriages and did in fact have a successful pregancy after? Just feeling very overwhelmed and stressed out about everything, any support or words of advice would be so very much appreciated!!

Comments

  • shunahshunah Posts: 38
    Hello...I have not had a successful pregnancy YET, but I wanted to let you know that you are not alone. I have had 2 miscarriages in the last 3 months. I never thought there would be a possibility that I may not have children until recently. I went and talked to my doctor a few days ago and she said she was not too woried about it believe it or not. She just said "well you don't produce good quality every cycle, but eventually you will". She also explained how common miscarriage really is. I felt a little more optimistic after she said that.

    After allowing myself a little time to grieve the loss and feel sorry for myself I decided that I have to change my energy and be more positive. This will happen for us. It is very difficult not to worry and stress. Things that help me are acupuncture, yoga, and try to walk or ride my bike as often as I can. I notice that keeping myself busy works best. Also, if I had it to do over again I would STAY OFF THE COMPUTER. I drove myself crazy from information overload.

    If you recently had a HSG this greatly increases your chances for the first few months. So be excited about that and try to relax. I can't wait to read your success story soon. Good luck and keep us posted!!!!
  • HLBoulay11HLBoulay11 Posts: 3
    Thank you so much!! My first misscarriage was when I was a lot younger and the second was a couple years ago, and my OB had told me that she didn't think I would have any problems. It wasn't until I met with this particular NP that suddenly put the thought in my head that I might have something wrong. We are waiting a while longer before going ahead and doing the IUI, we are just now starting to look at donors. But it is all just so overwhelming!

    I definitely agree that keeping distracted is a good idea. I have never tried acupuncture before, what are your thoughts on it? I go to the gym regularly which is a huge stress reliever for me.

    Thank you so much for lending me your advice. It's nice to know that people are going through similar situations. I wish you the best of luck and please keep me posted!!!
  • ealoudealoud Posts: 4
    Hang in there. One thing I have learned through my pregnancy process was that it will happen when it is supposed to happen. Even with a clean bill of health from the fertility docs it took me two years to get pregnant. What an emotional rollercoaster that was. But...it did happen and now I have a wonderful 10 week old son.
    I recommend you keep up your exercise routine and try to eat a clean diet while you are trying to get pregnant. I agree with Shunah...stay off the internet when it comes to fertility stuff...you will Google yourself into insanity and anxiety.
    Dont let that Nurse Practitioner make you doubt yourself...keep up the positive thoughts.
    Best of luck to you and your partner.
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