Scary birth stories

baby67890

Hi everyone
Is anyone going through this I have a best friend that just had a baby girl 5 months ago. Don’t get me wrong am very happy for her but when I told her about my plans to become a single mother by choice. Every time when am on the phone with her she always has to bring up her horrifying story how daughter was born with graphic details, and saying that you don’t want kids their expensive ,and you never live your life again etc. I feel that I should live my life because I have let others shape the way I do things and am the one unhappy. Also I feel that I was her choice to have sex without a condom or b/c and got pregnant she choose to rise her child alone. Therefore, what’s so wrong with me choosing to do the same if makes me happy? Pleases help from those that’s been here before.

Stephanie T

I know, I get that a lot too. The people like that just don't get it! It must be nice for them to just fall into it like they do & and not even have to try to have a baby.
I have a cousin that does the same kinds of things i love her but the comments hurt. I'm tired of waiting for Mr. Right! He is not coming & my clock is ticking very loud! She doesn't have to tell me every time I see her that this will be hard. I know that. & there will be obsticles. I know that too. Stop trying to talk me out of it. Is she saying that if there were two parents raising this baby that it won't be hard and there won't be any obsticles. I think NOT.
The big diffrence in my mind is I know all this goin into it. Yes I'm doing it alone. Yes It will be hard & expensive & painfull & there will be obsticles & changes in my life. BRING IT ON! Because there are soooo many good things that all the negative people don't tell you. The first time you feel the baby move. The first smile. All the things you get to expierince for the first time again through their eyes. And sooo many more.
I really feel that your friend and my cousin really just don't think before they talk! If they could feel how their comments make us feel they would never say those things, if they truely care about us. We know this is what will make us happy. I know its hard but I just try very hard to let the comments roll of my back, but it does bug me a ton! Never give up & live your life the way you want to live it! Everyone has the right to be happy! :)

baby67890

thank you so much for your words i will keep them on my cpu so when ever i hear negtive words i can go back to your post and know that there is hope thank you so much

MGALBN

Gooooo Stephanie!!!! :) No matter what your situation is, it seems like there's always that someone who has a negative spin on it. You are exactly right Stephanie, they never mention the THOUSANDS of good things that totally out weigh the hardships...

Amee

Hi Ladies, I am planning to become a single mother as well. After reading your posts, I had to weigh in. I am a labor and delivery nurse and I have met many,many single moms using donors. Also many of them coming back a second time. I would have to say, They all said, becoming a parent was the best decision they ever made and they're lives are more fulfilled than they ever thought. They really didn't know what was missing til their beautiful children came into their lives. As far as scary birth stories, so many people want to tell 1st time moms or future 1st time moms, what they percieved a terrible birth story. you will have a wonderful birth story! If you leave the hospital healthy and you have a healthy baby, you have a wonderful birth story. No matter how long or what way your baby gets here it will still be the best of you life and you will know that when you look into your baby's eyes for the 1st time.

PKaren

How about the benefits of being a single mother!!! Yes, you are doing it alone and my be a struggle financially BUT how about the fact that you don't have to answer to anyone telling you how to raise your child, share holidays, have someone try to take your child away or to have to have your child see you unhappy or listen to you argue constantly with your spouse etc... I would rather struggle financially doing it alone then to settle for a "father" and me and my child be miserable and end up being a single parent anyway!

It's always best to have two parents but in my case its not an option becuase I refuse to marry someone just to have a child and I refuse to sleep around as many do and not be able to be proud in telling my child how they came into my life.

Good Luck to all!!!

mommy87

I agree with you Karen. That's why I have decided to be a single mom. Given my age (24) I have tried the dating thing but most men my age don't want to become a father yet. My mom once suggested sleeping around. She said it would be a lot easier and cheaper. I was so angry with her for even suggesting that. I mean she should realize how dangerous that is in so many different ways and she shouldn't want me to do that.

It also scares that If I went the traditional route there is a chance that a custody battle could come into play. My sister and her husband have been in one for over 2 years involving one of his children from a previous relationship and to see what that little girl went through was awful. To see her getting pulled in two different directions, having to choose between mommy or daddy was just heart breaking.

Becoming a single mom is just the right choice for me. Although I am scared of the the labor and delivery part I know that once I see my baby everything else wont matter. and if Mr. Right does come along later on down the road he won't care if I have a child. If he truly loves me he'll also love my future child.

dmz815

Well I am a single mom. My son will be 11 months old in a few hours. Am I tired some days I would lie if I said no, is it hard sometimes, of course, would I change a thing. Absolutely not. He is by far the best thing I have ever done. I have no regrets, any feelings of regret I have equate to my own fears of not being able to give him everything, silly things you don't realize until you are in the situation but I have to say he will have everything he needs, maybe not all his wants but his needs will be taken care of. I adore him and what someone posted about being more fufillied is so true, I never realized how much my life was lacking until he was born. As for not being able to go out, I waited long enough and I am ok with that, I don't go out by choice, I choose to spend my time with my baby b/c I do have to work unfortunately being single there is no choice. As for labor and delivery I too was scared I am sure married women are as well. I have to admit from the minute I found out I was pregnant until the second he was born it was an amazing experience that I am so happy I was able to experience. Take an epidural I did, didn't even know I was having contractions, the worse of my story was as he was being born, it turned out he had his hand under his chin so his elbow was leaning on a spot which caused discomfort, not pain discomfort when he was born we realized why LOL, still would do it again and again, if the Lord blessed me and money was no issue. I am struggeling now with whether or not to have a second, try between age and money...... but I so want to experience it again and I want my son to have someone to share life with..........