KNOWN donors

vegaschicvegaschic Posts: 37
in Selecting a Sperm Donor
Hi.

Has anyone considered using a known donor? And just wondered what legal site you used to print the donor agreement forms, etc.. or how much legal fees were if you go to a lawyer to have them drawn up? Or any thoughts on using a known donor...

Comments

  • ArkmomArkmom Posts: 92
    Do not rely on a form from the internet to protect your parental rights and establish your child's legal relationships. In many states, they are not worth the paper they are printed on.
  • DutchTulipDutchTulip Posts: 24
    Hi! I have done a little research on it, and it seems that it's a rather risky affair for both parties. The mother can sue the father for child support and the father can get custody rights. It seems that state law overrides any contract drawn up, even it's official. In NY state, as far as I understand, the father will always remain the father no matter what and can claim rights but also has responsibilities if sued.

    Yes, I'd love for my child(ren) to have a male around who they can call daddy, but I've lived enough to know that relationships between people (even close friends) can change and I wonder if it's worth taking the risk as it involves not just me but potentially any offspring. Therefore, I'm opting for the next best thing (in my mind), i.e. open donor.

    I'd be interested in hearing other people's opinion on this topic though.

    DT
  • vegaschicvegaschic Posts: 37
    yeah, i feel like its a bad idea too. I think I more or less just wanted to hear that from all of you too! lol since you guys are like my mental "support system" in here!

    I have 3 guys, who have offered up their swimmers to me, but I'm too scared to let them donate. I don't want "strings" and any drama that could follow. I think custody battles and the bouncing back and forth of children between homes, where they are used as pawns, etc.. is WORSE than using frozen donor sperm and giving a child a solid loving and consistent environment in which to grow with only one parent.
  • ArkmomArkmom Posts: 92
    It is worth noting too, that even if you live in a state wherein a known donor agreement will stand up in court, child custody proceedings will uasually follow the law of the child's home state at the time of the proceeding rather than at the time of birth. You don't want to put yourself in a position where you can only live in a handfull of states without taking a chance of facing custody litigation.
  • ArkmomArkmom Posts: 92
    Having said all of that, there were exactly two people in my life that I would have trusted on their honor to comply with a known donor agreement. Niether of them was a reasonable option for other reasons. Some known donor situations do work out and they can have benefits, ultimately though, I think in most cases the risks are too great.
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