deciding to try again

mspmsp Posts: 2
in Single Mothers by Choice
At the end of April I was lucky enough to become pregnant after only 3 IUIs. After a few weeks I started spotting and had an episode of bleeding. When I went to the RE at 7 weeks however, I was able to see a heartbeat and he told me that everything looked normal, and that some women just experience bleeding during early pregnancy. A week later however, the doctor wasn't able to find a heartbeat. The miscarriage didn't happpen on its own and I was prescribed Cytotec to use at home. It's all been much harder than I expected, especially not having anyone to talk to as a single person.

I'm having a hard time trying to convince myself to try again. I've recently turned 40.

I also wanted to thank everyone for the information and advice on these boards, which have been so helpful and a great source of comfort to me. Mary, if you are reading, I wanted to say thank you for sharing your story - my heart goes out to you too. I hope you are doing OK.

Comments

  • MistyandCarlaMistyandCarla Posts: 720
    msp...I know that a m/c would be a very devasting loss and the heartache must be unbearable. I'm sorry that you have to go through this. But I really don't think that you're too old to conceive a child. I conceived at 35 and will turn 36 on Monday and I'm 24 weeks along. Even at 35, people tried to talk me out of doing this. I didn't listen to them because becoming a Mommy has always been a goal of mine. I told myself that my age is just a number and that I was willing to do everything in my power to make my dream come true. Also, keep in mind how many women over 40 are giving birth now. I suggest that you do some research on 40 year olds having children and you'll see that it is still possible for you to have a healthy beautiful baby!

    Here's a couple sites to check out...

    http://www.pennlive.com/bodyandmind/index.ssf/2009/03/its_not_too_late_having_a_baby.html

    http://www.thelaboroflove.com/forum/jan/1.html

    http://theadventurouswriter.com/blogbaby/quipstipscouplesinfertility/health/having-a-baby-in-your-40s-equals-a-longer-life/

    Good luck on your decision!
  • ualtiggerualtigger Posts: 589
    msp:
    I will be 46 next month and am just now starting my family. There are a lot of us over 40 who can support you and a lot (like MistyandCarla) of youngsters :-) who can also... you're in the right place. When we say we know what you're going through, we really DO know what you're going through because we've been there ourselves... and survived.

    Don't give up hope... I haven't.

    Prayers for you...
    Dust, dust for all of us.
  • amandaot@bellsouth.netamandaot@bellsouth.net Posts: 17
    I would say..... follow your heart. It will be what it is meant to be. Either way, you will know that you tried. I am about to be 38. I just had my 8th IUI and am now finally pregnant. I would say, stay with it! Good luck. read the book Loving What Is by Katie Byron. It's not about pregnancy, but is a book that has answered a lot of questions for me.
  • 2beamom2beamom Posts: 108
    msp, you are in my thoughts and prayers. God Bless
  • jesselynnjesselynn Posts: 137
    I am a bit younger than you are but I just had some input. (I hope thats ok)

    Like amanda said, follow your heart. I think many of us "know" we were supposed to be mommies. Listen to your intuition.

    I am so sorry for your loss. I'll keep you in my prayers...please don't give up hope! :)
  • jam1120jam1120 Posts: 30
    Deciding to try again is a huge step after any type of loss, but time and your heart will tell you what is right for you. At 22 weeks pregnant with twins I had an ultrasound that showed no heartbeats. It was devastating but time did help some and I did try again and now have a wonderful 2 year old son. I was 38 when my son was born and now at 40 I'm trying again. Good luck.
  • ualtiggerualtigger Posts: 589
    msp: How you doin', girlfriend?
  • ualtiggerualtigger Posts: 589
    Hey girl... how're you?
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