My doctor suggested that I take parenting classes/and what last name will you give your babies if yo

baby67890

My doctor suggested that I take parenting classes because am single and young (24) and am going to use a sperm donor from a different race did this happened to anybody else please help.
Also I was wondering what last name will you give your babies if you are single.
I heard that legally you can choose any last name you like is that true.
Secondly if I chose to have second child by a different donor or adopt a second child do both their names have to be the same or be yours?

Pamela Marie

I am going to do this as a single mom, and in the birth certificate I will leave in blank where it says "father" and my child will have MY last name. Thats what most single women who use sperm donor do. You cannot choose any last name you want, it has to be your own that goes it the birth certificate.

As far as having a second child by a different donor or adopting- it doesnt matter if they are not biologically related they will still have YOUR last name if you decide to it as single.

smaciegracie

I'm 25, but I was 23 when I started this process. My RE did not suggest parenting classes, but she want to make sure I was mentally ready for what I was getting into. She is such a great doctor...wish I see her throughout pregnancy. Anyway, I just got my BFP last Friday. I think I will take some classes just because this will be my 1st baby; can't hurt.

Arkmom

Baby67890,

Are you sure about the reasons why your doctor made this suggestion? My doctor recomendecd that all first time parents should take a basic course in childcare unless they has previous childcare experience or someone to stay with them for the first few weeks and help them get up to speed.

As for the second half of your question, the way you ask it, as if it were somehow assumed a single woman could not or should not pass her own name onto her children, seems almost calculated to illicit a negative response. It really does not give others the impression that you are aware of the unusualness of what you are proposing and have given thoughtful consideration to its possible implications for your children and your family unit.

In most states, it is not a legal requirement that you give your children the last name of one or more of their parents, but I think if you are trying to support your children's sense of belonging and idenity, it is probably a good first step to give a name to the family you will all belong to together, wether this is the name you were born with or a new name that you choose.

I have actually know one son of a single mother who was given the last name of a family friend who was not his father. His mother wanted to honor her friend, who had supported her in her pregnancy when members of her own family had not. He actually got along with the name (which happened to be Arabic) well enough until 9-11, but that is a different story and could have happened just as easily if the friend had really been his father. Personally, absent some such important motive, I don't see the point in giving your child a name other than your own.