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The only thing I’ve ever wanted

wanted to share my story on here in hopes that I can give others some insight that are going through the same thing as me.

I have always wanted to be a mom. I have dated here and there throughout my life but haven’t found the person that I’ve wanted to spend my life with. I always had the idea of artificial insemination throughout my 20’s and especially my 30’s. I kept on waiting because I thought maybe I would find someone and wouldn’t have to do this on my own. I never did and now I’m almost 37! Time really goes so fast. I am very close to my parents and live about an hour and 15 minutes from them. Of course I would like to be closer to them when going through this.

I don’t have a lot of friends where I currently live and that’s probably the hardest thing. I have a great job with great benefits so it makes it tough to give that up and move closer to my parents. Anyway, I’ve been on anxiety medication for 15 years and I am tapering off of it as we speak. I have an appointment with my gynecologist next week to have testing done to see how I look on the inside as I’ve never even been pregnant. I am taking the steps I need to take to go to the next chapter in my life. Am I scared? I used to be. I used to worry about what other people would think of me doing this but now I don’t care. I want a baby and my dream has always been to be a mom. It might be in a different way than others but we all have a story and I’m excited for mine. I am extremely independent and ready to take this on by myself with friends and family support.

I am getting a part time job outside of my full time job to have the money to do this. I need to pick a donor but I’m so picky!!! I want to have as much info on the donor as possible. I’m going between this bank and another one that offers adult photos. I’m thinking I’ll start the process in the summer. Any advice that any of you could give me would be wonderful! I can finally say that I have accepted this path and I’m very excited!

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    Be prepared for fertility treatments to take over your life! I started at 34 with IUI's, five IUI's later no pregnancy. Decided to do ivf bc they said I would have a whole family frozen. Did the ivf, no embryos made it to blastocysts. Depression set in. Second ivf, wound up with three healthy embryos. First transfer it took, the egg split, wound up with identical twins, and went into premature labor at 17 weeks and lost them. Did a third ivf. Only one embryo made it. Lab messed up with one of the previous embryos so now I'm down to two. Going to do one more egg retrieval before trying another transfer. I'm now 36. Good luck with your journey but don't forget that's what it is...a long journey.

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