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This is Plan A
SinglehoodBliss
Posts: 2
It seems like every forum I look at is filled with women describing their SMBC status as a decision that came about from reaching a certain age and finding themselves without a man - as if being a SMBC was just a less desirable backup plan.
But is there anyone else out there where being a SMBC was their Plan A?
I'm in my early 30s and am planning my insemination within the next year. This has been my life plan since I was a child. Maybe I got an overdose of the girl power koolaid in my youth, but I never understood the point of relying on a guy. It takes a village, not a man. So this has always been my Plan A and I built my life and career choices around this plan. Barring any complications, I'll be having my baby right on schedule. But it's a little isolating to hear all the stories from women saying Prince Charming never showed up so this is their only option. It makes it sound like this is the lesser choice they got stuck with. Isn't there anyone else out there who sees SMBC as a preferred path?
But is there anyone else out there where being a SMBC was their Plan A?
I'm in my early 30s and am planning my insemination within the next year. This has been my life plan since I was a child. Maybe I got an overdose of the girl power koolaid in my youth, but I never understood the point of relying on a guy. It takes a village, not a man. So this has always been my Plan A and I built my life and career choices around this plan. Barring any complications, I'll be having my baby right on schedule. But it's a little isolating to hear all the stories from women saying Prince Charming never showed up so this is their only option. It makes it sound like this is the lesser choice they got stuck with. Isn't there anyone else out there who sees SMBC as a preferred path?
2
Comments
I've joked this is probably the route I would take since I was a teenager, but I figured why not try to do it the traditional way to see if it could be "better" for my children. Well considering 95% of my peers who did it the "right" way are divorced (or on their way) & constantly fighting, I rather not fight with anyone and have happy home & child(ren).
My only regret is I waited so long to make the decision. Now in my 30's, I just can't imagine lowering my standards to be with someone just so I can have a child. I know to many females doing this now. Planning baby shower and filing for divorce at the same time. Love can come anytime, but biology is finite. And I see the disappointment in the eyes of family members that waited, but then it was too late.
To any woman reading this who may be contemplating becoming a SMBC, I would say making the decision to move forward is the hardest part. Fighting all the what-ifs and maybe's will be a daily, minute by minute thing. But if you CAN'T imagine your life without children, then I say look at this as Plan A. And if don't do anything else PRAY on it and everything will fall into place. God works miracles, but he needs a little effort from you!
I think from that moment it became plan A for me, although I treated it like a backup plan for several years while I built my own life and tried various relationships.
When I got to a point that I was financially stable and ready to take this step, I was actually in a relationship (no marriage), but not one that was ready for kids. I actually ended the relationship to move forward with my baby plans.
It might be strange, but this process is so deeply personal to me, I've never felt the want or desire to share it with someone else.
I'm 28 and I've only just started this process; I still haven't chosen a donor yet. I've been building my village of support and planning contingency plans for all possible outcomes. I'm still worried about taking this journey alone and the judgement of the general population, but I've never been more certain about anything. I know this is the right step for me.