Hey everyone. I'm brand new in my journey and beginning to think of a donor for IVF in the coming months. I have read previous posts on here of people choosing (or not) to use a donor from a different race than themselves, but many of the posts are really old, so I'm starting a new one today. I will be a single mother in my journey, with very supportive friends and family. I'm from a very small town, mostly Hispanic and Caucasian. I myself am half white/half Mexican. The donor I absolutely love is Korean. Now, two things about this is relevant: I specifically searched out Asian donors because I absolutely love Asian children (I hope this doesn't sound weird, but I have a lot of thoughts about all this) and I think the child would be so beautiful. Secondly, I love Korean culture and food and language and have been learning so much about it and I think I could provide an Asian with knowledge and appreciation of their culture even though I don't belong to it myself. There aren't many Asians in my community and none in my family, but I know they would love and support this child regardless.
The question is how will this affect my child? Will they struggle with identity even if I provide them with exposure to their culture? Will they feel left out or that they don't belong? Being mixed race myself I was raised with white parents who did not introduce me to my culture, but being that I live in a largely Hispanic population I picked up the language and food for myself. Does anyone have advice or insight to share? Maybe someone who has used a donor of a different ethnicity, or even children from mixed race families? Please advise, because I am feeling a little lost and alone about this topic. Thank you so much.