I am a single 37 year old who started the process. The doctor found polyps in my uterus so I am having them
Removed than hopefully in January I will have my first IUI. I often think am I being selfish by wanting to bring a baby into the world without a father? But then I think I have an amazingly supportive family. And the love that I have to give to my child takes away any worry of my child missing out on not having two parents. And the fact that we single woman are taking this journey to conceive shows that we have a love like no other for the children we have. Because this is a tough journey!

Hi, I’m a single, 38 years old woman and just did my first IUI treatment today. Fingers crossed. I also struggled with the thought of the child not having a father and how they would feel about being a “donor” baby. I did a lot of research online. Most negative experiences I came across from the perspective of the child involved families that kept the donor status secret until the child was older and then it was a surprise to the kid at some point when they were a teenager or adult which then caused an identity crisis for the child. After reading this I decided that I am going to be completely open with my child about how and why I chose to bring him/her into this world. It was important to me to choose a donor that was open to contact after the child turns 18 and I chose a donor that was willing to provide adult photos. Being able to give my child a picture of what this man is like was one of the most important factors for me because this was all the information my child would have until he/she turns 18 and maybe forever. I’m going to make a book for my child About how they got here and I will read it to him/her from day 1. As they get older I will add more details that are age appropriate but it will never be a secret. As my child reaches school age we will decide how and what we tell others as I know other kids can be cruel. But I’m not too worried about this as there are so many single parents out there today I don’t think it will be as strange or unique as I’m currently making it out to be. But my family and friends will all know the truth. It won’t be taboo to talk about in our household. I feel like that is the key to making sure this child has a strong sense of self and self-confidence. No matter what anyone else says we are who we are and he/she will be loved and cared for.

I also read several articles about how children of older single mothers by choice end up being well adjusted and thrive academically and socially. The theory behind this is that older single mothers by choice are more financially stable and prepared for the challenges of bringing up children. Whereas younger single mothers tended to become pregnant by accident and were not prepared to bring up a child financially or otherwise. So the statistics on crime, drugs and drop out rates on children of single parents don’t necessarily apply to our situation. You have prepared for 40 years for this. There will be challenges and struggles but you got this. It’s all about how you choose to raise your child. Don’t let everyone else’s opinions scare you into changing your mind. That child will love you.