When to tell family about donor?

AlaskaAlaska Posts: 16
in LGBTQ+ Couples

Hello,
My wife and I are planning to go down the IUI journey here in the next few months. Both of our families know we're planning to try for a baby so the fact that we're using a sperm donor isn't a surprise. By chance, the donor we want to pick is not the same ethnicity of either of us. And while we know it won't be an issue with our families we are both unsure about when to tell our families about him should we become pregnant. We don't want to tell them before a pregnancy because the choosing process was important to us but private. Is there a natural way to bring this up if they don't ask?

Comments

  • CGMoms2019CGMoms2019 Posts: 46

    Hi there. Congrats on your new journey! My best advice would be to be as open as possible. You’re about to embark on a very non traditional journey. My wife and I both wanted a donor with a different ethnicity as well. We are 7 weeks pregnant with our baby and over the moon. The more open and calm I am about the process, my family responds to that. I correct them when they call the donor the “father” and I’ve told them all about the donor before we were even pregnant. It has been a long road with my family from the time I came out, to getting married, to getting pregnant but I’m where I am with them through confidence and openness. We want our child to have as much knowledge about themselves as possible and to be proud of where they came from. If we are not confident about it, our child and our family won’t be either. This is certainly the road less traveled, but it’s incredibly beautiful. Own it and best wishes! :)

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