Stigma about deliberate single mother-hood?

Have any of you faced stigma about purposeful single mother-hood?

From medical professionals, family, friends, church, clery, etc?

Just curious about what I may have to expect should I be successful.

Thanks,

S.

Comments

  • Nope. Most people think it's great. Some have even told me they wish they had gone that route.
  • I haven't gotten any flack for it, directly. I'm still bracing for it from somewhere along my journey (and have only told friends and family I think will be supportive or at least non-judgemental), but everyone has been really enthusiastic so far. YMMV. A good friend of mine announced her intentions to her wider family at Thanksgiving and got a lot more negative feedback. I suspect because she's not quite to the trying/being pregnant stage yet and they'll come around. My advice: Choose wisely who you tell early on.

    Caveat: I live in a big city with a large SMC community.

    Have you joined any of the SMC forums or found any groups in your area? They were a big help through my thinking and trying stages, and have been great source of support through the beginnings of my pregnancy too.

  • I am a about to start my first round of IUI and I am having some of these same thoughts. I have only told Immediate family and all have been beyond supportive. People that know me know that I am suppose to be a mother and know I want to be a mother more than any thing in the world.
    I am going to look for a SMC group locally this is a wonderful idea.

  • NuratNurat Posts: 11
    edited February 5, 2018 7:06PM

    It's been mixed for me. I do wave a caution flag about the term SMC, because it can be alienating & stigmatizing to Mums who may have had some trauma associated with losing a partner. I prefer to just be a SM and whether or not it's my choice is irrelevant; mostly, we all get treated / perceived the same way if it's a "single mother household" or "fatherless child" stereotype. Do what's best for you & keep those supportive very close. Good luck!

  • HELLO EVERYONE, I NEED SOME ADVICE WHAT ARE SOME TIPS THAT YOU SUE TO HELP PICK THE BEST DONOR? I HAVE TEN I'M GOT MY ATTENTION. I JUST NEED TO KNOW HOW CAN I NARROW DOWN TO JUST ONE. I WILL BE A SINGLE MOTHER. MY MOTHER IS VERY SUPPORTIVE.

  • Dina,

    I've been narrowing mine down by paying very close attention to the extended medical records, and listening to the voice interviews. Both of my brothers grew up to have voices nearly identical to my dad and if I were to have a boy, I'd prefer to "enjoy" his voice. I know within seconds whether or not the donor's voice is one I'd like to hear for a lifetime. I recommend purchasing the 90 day sub for the $250. It's a drop in the bucket considering you're about to enter a lifelong relationship. :)

    -Dee

  • Medical history is big if you have a preference of eye and hair color, if you enjoy reading their profile, liked their characteristics, personalities and hobbies and could see your kids that way too.

    I choose mine because I felt like we had a lot in come, similar backgrounds, he’s ambitious, friendly talented and social. He also had interesting viewpoints about life. By the pictures I saw I thought he was adorable. I originally was looking for an open donor but when I came across his I just loved reading everything and knew I didn’t want to look any further. At that point I didn’t care if he is anynmous.

    My kids are still little but they all have great personalites and are social.

  • I went to a SMC when I lived in CA.

    The church I went to at the time wasn’t too thrilled about it, but, later, in subsequent churches, when I shared I was a SMC, they were supportive and never judgmental toward me or my children.

    My friends and employers were always supportive.

    Hope your experience is as great as mine has been.

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